Did you realize that more than 70% of our communication is nonverbal? In fact I read an article which said that a recent UCLA study suggested that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues. What does this mean to you when making a first impression?
As you approach someone they will be watch your facial expressions, eye contact, posture, hand and feet movements, body movement and placement. All of this happens in less than 30 seconds and people will make a value judgment of who you are and what you are capable of doing long before the first hello. With this said let’s talk about:
Eye Contact – Depending upon your culture or upbringing how comfortable you are making 
eye contact with a stranger will vary widely. If you plan to be successful in business then you need to be willing to talk to new people. Having good eye contact is crucial to developing a meaningful and trusting relationship. People want to do business with other people who they trust. When you do not keep eye contact with someone who you are speaking with it gives the impression that you have something to hide. So if you are someone who does not maintain good eye contact when speaking to someone new what should you do?
I recommend that you practice. Where? Everywhere, at the supermarket, in the cleaners, at the ice cream shop, any place that you find people you do not know and that you share something in common with. What do you share in common? The location where you are and what you are doing there. That can be the opening of the conversation, “Did you see any great sales in the circular?”, “I usually come to the cleaners on Wednesday because they give you 20% off did you know that?” , “I love their Butter Pecan Ice Cream what is your favorite?” Practicing will make you more comfortable and give you a chance to become more aware of your eye contact.
Another suggestion is to think of the new people you meet as potential new friends not strangers. These are potential new friends who are willing and able to work with you but you just have not met them yet. I read an interesting post by Marlene Green entitled “We have the power to change our conversation” and thought you would enjoy reading it as well. Please feel free to share what has worked for you in developing better eye contact when speaking to new people.
Oh, if only we were taught this in grade school. How is that Poker players learn it? Ha, it is because they teach themselves just like we must to insure good communication. Thanks for this post
rosie´s last blog post ..Story Telling Theory And Practice- Professor Brian Sturm
Hi Rosie,
You are right. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Having good eye contact matter when you really want to connect with someone else. Thanks so much for your comment.
Good eye contact is definitely important for developing trust and good communication in the West.
I think it would be prudent to be mindful of cultural differences regardless. (There are many cultures in which making eye contact with someone senior, or of the opposite sex, or to someone who is not related to you, can be considered disrespectful and sometimes even offensive.) In such cases it could be useful to develop a relationship of trust slowly and demonstrate one’s good intentions in other ways first.
Best Regards
Gitie
Gitie House´s last blog post ..What is Your Bird’s Personality?
Thanks Kevin. I am constantly amazed at how many people will look you dead in the shoe when talking. Thanks for the tips.
Mike
Mike Liddicoat´s last blog post ..Mama Always Told Me
Excellent point Gitie and oh so true depending upon who and where you do business. Cultural competency is a necessary tool in your relationship tool box when doing business. Thanks so much for emphasizing this point in your comment.
All the best,
Kevin
Hi Mike,
Maybe they are checking to see if the shoes are shined ( one of my future tips). LOL But more than likely they are not comfortable of confidant which will come with practice. Thanks for your comment.
Kevin
I think it would be fun to try to have a “body language only” conversation some time… 🙂
Of course, you should probably tell the other person beforehand LOL.
Mtn Jim
Mtn Jim Fisher´s last blog post ..Outsourcing Your Facebook Fan Page
Hi Mtn Jim,
I believe that we have “body language only” conversations when ever we are dancing. 🙂
Why don’t you go out tonight and have a “body language only” conversation with someone you love.
Thanks so much for you comment.
All the best,
Kevin